As a revert, you need all the peer help you can get. Consider your faith akin to a hospital IV, literally linked to the Muslim community and in need of frequent replenishment. Islam is a communal religion as much as it is a personal religion. If you abandon the Muslim community, it is as if you have abandoned half the religion. And if you cut that tie then you have cut off a lifeline, like a fish jumping out of the water. You will not last long.

And the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said, and he is the one whose words are not merely words of wisdom, but they are words of the highest truth, from the Highest Authority, “Surely, the wolf only eats the lone, distant sheep.”^[1]Recorded by Ahmad 2/196, Abu Dawood no. 547, al-Nasaa’ee no. 846 and ibn Khuzaimah no. 1486.

How much more do these words apply to those only recently initiated?

A new Muslim is very vulnerable, and even other more seasoned veteran reverts, no matter how zealous, still vacillate and remain vulnerable until they increase in knowledge and experience, and such knowledge and experience can only properly be gained with the accompaniment of the older Muslims.

The Muslim community with very few reverts, even though they may not reach out to you, is still comforting because they have called themselves Muslims their entire lives and will probably continue doing so until they die. You may have just started calling yourself a Muslim a week ago or perhaps a month, and not all of your family and friends may even be aware of your Islam. So the temptation to return to what you were previously following may lurk and fester within you from time to time, especially when your last interactions with the Muslims was more than a few days ago.

And never be too proud or shy to ask the Muslims for help. Many communities might be suspecting of you if you accept Islam and then ask for money, so get to know people first and let them get to know you. Start conversations. Then strive in Islam and Allah will provide for your needs.

{ وَمَن يَتَّقِ اللَّـهَ يَجْعَل لَّهُ مَخْرَجًا ﴿٢﴾ وَيَرْزُقْهُ مِنْ حَيْثُ لَا يَحْتَسِبُ ۚ وَمَن يَتَوَكَّلْ عَلَى اللَّـهِ فَهُوَ حَسْبُهُ ۚ إِنَّ اللَّـهَ بَالِغُ أَمْرِهِ ۚ قَدْ جَعَلَ اللَّـهُ لِكُلِّ شَيْءٍ قَدْرًا ﴿٣﴾} سورة الطلاق

“And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty), and He will provide for him from where he never imagined, and whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allah will accomplish his purpose. Indeed Allah has set a measure for all things.” [65:2-3]

If your local Muslim community follows a deviant sect or there is no Muslim community, then work to build a network of supportive Muslim friends from other communities, or even online, that you frequently interact with.

In such a situation, you should develop a plan to move to a sizeable friendly orthodox Muslim community, and execute it as soon as possible, without any excuses. Your faith is at stake and there’s nothing more valuable to you than your relationship with Allah, which is directly tied to your experiences with the Muslim community at large.

Within the Muslim community itself, your best source for support and understanding will probably be other reverts. Also, knowledgeable conservative Muslims, since they understand the true depths of Islam and how difficult it can be to reach a stage of independent maturity as a practicing Muslim. If possible, take a mentor to see you through your spiritual progress, basic Islamic education, and listen to the challenges you encounter in life from day to day as a new Muslim. Other Muslims that may give little priority to Islam underestimate Islam and its challenges, as their spiritual lives are mostly habit and quick ritual. But in almost every case, a Muslim who prays is a far better friend that anyone else who does not pray.

The Prophet Muhammad  said, “A person is upon the faith of his closest companion, so look to whom you take as your closest friend.” With every interaction we are subtly affected, either leaving with admiration or contempt, and later on we may subconsciously mimic some of the behavior we’ve seen from others. And when we have a vacuum of opinion concerning an issue that may or may not affect us, we often find ourselves accepting the first one we hear, or falling for the one most assertively voiced. When we are fond of someone, it is natural to desire closeness. That is love, and in many times the closeness we achieve is through acceptance and respect of their tendencies, good or bad. This could lead us to compromise on our faith.

While mixing halal and haram is not what any Muslim wants to do, rough circumstances and dwindling faith may face us with enormously troubling decisions to save our iman.

For example, leaving a small town without a masjid for a town with a vibrant Muslim community but by taking a doubtful occupation or keeping close contact with a Muslim of the opposite sex in the absence of other links to the Muslim world.

In such cases, you must weigh what there is to gain and lose in life and religion by each option, placing the preservation of your Islam as the lowest common denominator, even if it means assuming a different burden.

I remember meeting a group of Muslims on a college campus that were good with their prayers and eating of halal even though they smoked, drank, listened to music, had girlfriends, and partied a lot. There was another ethnic Muslim who disdained them for that and instead took the companionship of an atheist with outwardly good manners. This atheist replaced their habits with others, like chess playing, classical music, philosophy reading, etc. Needless to say, this other Muslim is not known to pray or adhere to anything of Islam anymore. As for the other group, some of them converted their girlfriends to Islam. Their consistent adherence to their prayers, in spite of their other problems, was enough to strike curiosity and admiration among other non-Muslims. I see some of them years later, still practicing Islam, and hopefully having cleansed themselves of former bad habits.

The point here is that there is nothing remotely close to Islam, much less equivalent or greater when determining friendship.

Even with poor Muslim company, you can encourage them by offering to read a hadeeth every day after every salaah, from Riyadh-us-Saaliheen for example. Most Muslims would never protest to that. Putting it to practice may make some people squirm in their seats, but if it’s the Prophet’s speech and you do not add another word of your own as commentary, then they couldn’t protest.

If you cannot find righteous Muslim companionship… then I have three counsels:

1. First of all, maintaining contact with local Muslims who pray, even if they commit other sins or have some deviations, is better for your religion than the company of non-Muslims with seemingly good manners. One of the great advantages that ethnic Muslims have over reverts is that they have always called themselves “Muslims” and probably always will, and if they pray, they usually do it automatically without ever considering skipping it and rarely delaying it. They may not have the best knowledge or respect for what’s allowed and not allowed for them as Muslims, but they have respect for the honor of Allah and His Messenger ﷺ. As for non-Muslims or even “nominal Muslims”, regardless of their manners, will generally make the performance of your Islamic duties cumbersome upon you. Even if they don’t say or do anything to stop you, you will feel like you have to go out of your way to do what’s right, which will only last so long, as it is heavy, unless you are actively and consistently trying to guide them towards Islam.
2. Second, there are many internet forums where Muslims get together just to learn about each other’s situations and share their love for Islam. In the absence of Muslims in your current community, do your best to find a Muslim or two of the same gender to be a pen pal with and motivate you—and it could open up future opportunities as well.
3. Thirdly, and I save the most essential for last: take the Qur’an as a companion and take the righteous deceased Muslim scholars/heroes as companions by reading their biographies. This is a must whenever you do not have the most exemplary companionship that affects you to become more righteous. Rather, you will be affected by even greater examples, being motivated by their dedication, courage, knowledge, and all other good Islamic manners of moderation, modesty, humiliation, generosity and wisdom—and increase your personal pride and conviction in Islam.

And Allah Knows best.