A common mistake we make is assuming, just like many non-Muslims do, that every Muslim is representing their religion and living accordingly. Some reverts initially have this perception because they are treated so warmly at the masjid and feel like butter in the hands of these Muslims so happy to see them and encourage them in Islam. After all, they’ve been practicing and learning about it for decades, right?

Right?

Well, sorta.

While several Muslims you see in the West emigrated from their homelands to practice Islam better, because they were good Muslims concerned about their faith; most of them, especially since the Soviet Union’s collapse, have come solely for the purpose of amassing wealth and living comfortably. They may not have given Islam any thought when deciding to come to America. Thus, when some of them breach Western shores–assuming they arrived by plain–they live out the party and drinking scene. They are bad Muslims, if they even are Muslims.

But to be fair, many of them, when they realize that they no longer see and hear the signs of Islam as they did in their homelands, realize that they need to take it upon themselves to provide an Islamic environment for themselves and their families. They educate themselves and become active contributors to the Muslim community. Still, some do not educate themselves about Islam, yet feel they need to do something Islamic, and since nothing is easier than talking and giving orders, they start administering the masjids or Muslim organizations, with or without Islamic guidance. These Muslims are often poor examples of Islam and may offer confusing or incorrect advice about how to live as a Muslim and implement Islam. Since we reverts have only minimal knowledge about Islam, it is tough to gauge who is more closely living Islam and whose advice is best to take.

“…the mixture of ‘ethnic’ Muslims is really a colorful collage of religious profiles, ranging from some of the best to some of the worst. The new convert just shouldn’t expect them all to be saints or angels. It is only a fractionally small minority which come anywhere close.” — Dr. Lawrence Brown, Bearing True Witness¸ pg. 63

Thankfully, in most larger communities, knowledgeable members are designated for teaching new Muslims. But in smaller ones, generally the most qualified are frequently conservative Muslims^[1]Although I hate to promote a stereotype, having a beard is definitely a sign of conservatism and knowledge, as well as wearing a less-than-flashy hijab or veil, for women. Exceptions abound, but this … Continue reading that married reverts, that is, if there are no knowledgeable reverts there already. If one feels truly lost, I recommend getting in contact with those Muslims from nearby larger communities to speak with an experienced teacher about the steps you should take to spiritual maturity.^[2]See Bearing True Witness, Brown, Dr. Lawrence. Pp. 62-63. Darus-Salaam publishers, Riyadh, 2005.

If you ever realize you may know more about Islam than ethnic Muslims do, don’t let it make you proud. As is often said, the steps of knowledge are three. When you first begin acquiring knowledge, you may become proud and think you know everything. Then, after you learn more, you become humble in your knowledge. However, the true peak and sign of understand and benefit is once you’ve studied beyond that and see how vast knowledge truly is and that even the tiniest benefit could come from where you least expect it and you realize you know nothing.

 

Recognizing culture for what it is, for better or worse

What many Muslims may think themselves, and thus lead some reverts and non-Muslims to believe, is that Islam is no longer a religion, but simply what the Muslims do, whether it’s in some scriptures or not. What you embraced is Islam, not any specific culture whether Moroccan, Turkish, Indian or otherwise. Considering that, if you have the choice between visiting a masjid that is predominantly one background versus another with a more diverse demographic, nearly always, the latter will be better insha’Allah.

 

When you learn the history of the Muslims, and learn what all these communities have gone through, you recognize that they are like the followers of other religions in their levels of practice and understanding. So you have educated laymen who casually study Islam and live accordingly; likewise, others who live according to their knowledge but have never studied so they don’t realize their shortcomings. And that’s the majority, especially those from outside Arab countries. As for the Arabs, since Islam is essentially an Arabic religion (linguistically, not ethnically) and since Arabs are often identified with Islam and it is as common and well known in Arab countries as Christianity in the West, most of the important fundamentals of Islam are known to Arabs, almost universally, so there is less excuse for their shortcomings as ambassadors of Islam. As for those whose induction into Islam was later in history and Muslim rule barely touched their lands, like the Muslims of South East Asia, then centuries old Hindu and Buddhist customs may still prevail among them. Cultural traditions become most noticeable at weddings, funerals, and pastimes, such as music and drama–dress goes without saying.

Thus, a frequent dilemma reverts encounter when they mix with ethnic Muslims, Arabs or not, and learn from them is separating true Islam from the customs passed on from generation to generation between Muslims of a particular family or region. While it is our right to know whether what we are observing or being taught is Islamic or not, we must respect the cultures that other Muslims carry and value, just as we hope they will respect the customs and preferences we’ve acquired as Americans or occidentals. Too often, even supposedly orthodox revert Muslim Americans, whether in America or in Muslim countries, expect everyone else to make way for them and their habits. Perhaps we inherited this quality from our former British rulers.

On the other hand, some aspects of Muslim culture is Islamic and is their method of expressing an Islamic principle, command or prohibition. Ironically, Muslims may not even know whether their customs actually stem from Islam or not, so it is best to ask an imam. On the other hand, some Muslims may think parts of Islam are cultural, for example, claiming that the hijab is from Arab culture and has nothing to do with Islam. So we may need to do a little fact-finding when we hear from them that something is cultural or not.

But between the ethnicities, I’ve usually found Indian subcontinent and Afghani Muslims to be the most passionate, although some may also carry a stoic demeanor. On the other hand, I have met many Arabs that have reached a level of genuine selflessness and generosity I have never seen elsewhere, and they are also the most forgiving in practicing Islam. Africans are frequently the most courageous and determined, and nearly all first generation African immigrants I’ve met have been extremely well-mannered. Southeast Asians are soft-spoken, humble and friendly. When you mix with the Muslims and travel more, you’ll discover how each ethnic group frequently carries its own set of qualities that distinguish it.

 

A taste of what you may encounter from the Muslims

While I hesitate to go into specifics, it really is necessary to mention some and why, just so you’re not too shocked and offended if or when you encounter any of this. The immigrant Muslims you meet from the mosque carry a lot of cultural baggage with them. Much of this baggage is even antithetical to Islam and perhaps even the reason you accepted Islam in the first place.

For example, many black Americans may have been attracted to Islam because it is the predominant religion of the African continent, the religion of their ancestors, not “white man’s religion” like Christianity. But what our black American brothers witness most often from the Arabs is suspicion of ill will, roughness, and approaching the masjid community for money, or the “you can be my brother, but not my brother-in-law” syndrome. Yes, Islam condemns racism and racial profiling, but many Muslims carry it with them, unfortunately. Of course, racism is never justified, but where they came from, not more than a hundred years ago, slavery may have been widespread, and black Africans the most commonly traded human commodity. Throughout most Arabic literature, like A Thousand and One Nights, blacks are always referred to as “slaves” and generally assigned the role of court executioner! In other words, people who cannot be bargained with and only know one task. Add to that, the influence they get from Hollywood movies that come to the Middle East and you have a recipe for disaster.

As for white converts, especially males, while many ethnic Muslims will look to them with awe, many others are suspicious that they are working for the FBI or CIA. As for white women, it is not uncommon for them to receive harsh treatment from sisters if those sisters are afraid their husbands want to take a second wife! Other, older women, may start trying to pair you up with one of their sons if you’re not married! Do note that in most Muslim communities overseas, the women are far less educated than the men, not only in secular fields but also Islamic, so they may have some misconceptions of their own about Islam and how to treat non-Muslims and new Muslims or who they perceive as being a non-Muslim. So if you experience some harsh treatment from sisters, especially older ones that appear to have just stepped off the boat, take it in stride and don’t think that they are representative of Islam. You may also consider giving this notice to any non-Muslim relatives or friends you want to invite to the mosque, so that any needed damage control is lessened.

But no matter our background and past experiences, if we feel we may have been subject to preferential treatment, good or bad, we have to remind ourselves several things:

• First of all, our own baggage, sensitivities and suspicions may steer us into thinking that we have been dealt with unfairly when we haven’t. Even when people clearly treat us differently from others, many a time it may be because something else entered their mind right before they were about to communicate with us and turn their attention away so that we feel neglected or given less than everyone else. There are literally hundreds of reasons we could be subject to less than or better than par treatment without being specifically singled out for it. We have to follow the advice of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ and try to seek an excuse for our Muslim brothers.
• Second, recall all that history that these individuals’ races and compatriots have gone through. While the US is not even 250 years old, India, Persia, Africa, South East Asia, Central Asia and the Middle East have histories going back thousands of years. Some of the most tumultuous and significant history has been in the last few decades. When you consider how these events may have affected their world outlook and manners, it really makes you feel sympathetic towards any ignorance they display your way.
• Third, remember that ignorance, suspicion and arrogance are all diseases of the heart. So the carriers of those diseases are sick and need to be cured—they weren’t born evil and crude, unable to change.
• Lastly, know that racism and other social ills, suspicions and superstitions that plague the Muslim Ummah are not hidden from Allah’s radar. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ even foretold that racism would never completely leave his followers; but even with that, he mentioned very severe threats for those that harbored racism and nationalism and invited towards it.

The other kind of “new” treatment reverts may experience when visiting masjids is when other Muslims, passionate about their faith, eager to educate others—or make things difficult—feel you are in need of some direction. While much of this correction may stem from Islamic guidance, some of it may be cultural or a particular culture’s implementation of an Islamic directive. While I recommend considering many of these advices, even better than that, is attending the masjid in the company of another Muslim, preferably a friendly and eager-to-assist college student or mentor. Frequently, the more educated a Muslim looks, in secular and Islamic studies (i.e. well-dressed with a beard), the better company and more eager to help they will be. They have experience with American culture and a love for Islam which they properly understanding, a general appreciation of the unique personality differences between people and are hopefully more willing to help.

To avoid any unnerving advice on your first visits, refrain from telling any laity that you’re left-handed, own a dog, work in anything that could remotely be suspect, are married to a non-Muslim, etc. although some of that is difficult to keep under wraps. “I’m married to a good respectful spouse, let’s just leave it at that,” will hopefully work. These things are not necessary condemned by Islam, but cultural perceptions may lead to an unreasonably tough response. Some Muslims who work with new converts even advise against visiting the masjid alone in the infancy of one’s Islam, especially women, since, as mentioned before, the ignorance of cultural Muslims is more compounded and visiting the masjid is never obligatory for women anyway. It is almost inconceivable that anyone would accept Islam for anything other than spiritual fulfilment. Traditional Muslims have forgotten that and instead narrowed their focus on the outer application, neglecting the heart because they think Islam is what Muslims do. They may pry into your lifestyle, subjecting it to their “Islam-o-meter” and making it the basis for judging your assimilation into the faith. They forgot that the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ spent thirteen years teaching Muslims little more than pure faith in Mecca before most of the physical guidelines for Islamic lifestyle and society were revealed.

Lastly, along these lines is how you might be treated in internet forums. SubḥānAllah. Some Muslims are extremely critical and harsh on the internet, trolling, just like we see anywhere else online. While it’s possible that some of this trolling may be done by Christians pretending to be Muslims, some of it is definitely committed by Muslims. Often times, these individuals, whose ancestors may have lived under colonial rule, have been subliminally taught to believe that people of white European background are more civilized and advanced. When some of these individuals meet white converts, they may see this as an opportunity to show that they can do something that the white person cannot. So they critique every little thing you do wrong, as if to show how much better and more advanced and ahead they are, and how much you have to learn and how pitiful your attempts are. Since this goes on a lot, I generally discourage new Muslims from participating in any internet forums that are not made by and for reverts alone.

And Allah Knows best