Cultivating a truly Islamic character and lifestyle…

…is a lifelong effort. Don’t beat yourself up if you can’t master it in your first week or your first year or for a very long time. Or ever. Conversely, never sit idly without working on improving something in your worship or your knowledge or your character, even if it is just revising something you once learned. The etiquette to self-cultivation is important, a person should progress gradually. Reading a book, or listening to lectures detailing the foundations of proper Islamic character all in one sitting is certainly possible–not to mention tempting when we are just greedy for more information–but the results would be less than if you were to study each qualitatively, one at a time, trying to apply it in your life and get a greater appreciation for its many dimensions. The companions of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ studied the Qur’an, but they would only take five to ten verses at a time and then discuss those verses and how to implement them in their lives. Once they understood that, they would move on to the next set.

Learn, one step at a time, about all the worship that is requested from you and what extra you may do to add more life to your life. Then, find something that is not too easy nor too difficult, and make that extra bit of worship your own consistent secret between you and Allah. It could be a couple rak’ah that you pray between fajr and thuhr; a couple days you fast during the month; a routine portion of the Quran you read in private; or a bit of salary you silently distribute to the needy. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said, “The most beloved acts to Allah are the most enduring, even if they seem small,” recorded by Muslim.

Learn about proper Islamic character. Take each quality, one at a time, of honesty, courage, hospitality, humility, chastity, etc. and how to live up to these ideals and the guidelines that Allah has set for them. Learn how a Muslim should deal with her parents, her neighbors, her spouse, her children, the other Muslims, the non-Muslims that are in need of guidance just as you were and remain, and even the animals and insects. As you strengthen your ‘aqeedah, read through the Quran, tafseer, and learn the Prophet’s biography, and read about the lives of those who emulated him, your Islamic character will become much more rounded until you become a true role model for the Muslim community, if you can imagine that.

However, nothing great comes easy…

There may come a time, or many, when you have to give up something you cherish…

…but when it comes, know that if you do it for Allah’s sake, He will replace it with something better. If you know a lot about Islam, and have already made a lot of sacrifices to accommodate your new faith, or if Islam’s many regulations do not clash much with your lifestyle as of late, then thank Allah and praise Him for making your conversion all the more easier. But if you know or suspect you may be involved in something(s) you’ll have to abandon to keep your peace of mind as a Muslim, then remember that you never make any exchange for Allah and with Allah except that He returns more than what you put in. You will always have to be patient to see that, but keep your trust in Allah that it will come. Even if there is something that Allah decreed to take away from you without your choosing, if you thank Allah for what He let remain with you and hold your tongue from ever complaining about what you may have lost, again, Allah will replace your loss with much better.

But if your lifestyle before accepting Islam was very irreligious, and you struggle to overcome un-Islamic habits, do not think you are at a disadvantage. As Umar ibnal-Khattaab, one of the Prophet’s greatest students was asked who has more reward from Allah, the one who finds Islam’s commands and prohibitions easy to implement or the one who struggles while implementing them, fighting temptation. He answered that the latter is greater in reward with Allah because of their greater mujaahadah (struggling against the lowly desires of the soul) which, like a rubber band pulled back further, propels them closer to Allah Almighty.^[1]See the Arabic version of ibn Katheer’s exegesis of Surat Noor for reference.

In all cases, it is prayer, that constant connection we make with Allah, through our hearts, minds, and tongues, that makes all this easier.

Prayers for keeping strong and repelling anxiety, stress, and depression…

At the time I became a Muslim, I was diagnosed with a number of mental illnesses. Later on, my psychiatrist would go on to say “you don’t need to take any more medication” and weaned me off although I was previously expected to continue with them for life. Eventually, he even said, “you don’t even need to see me anymore.”

If you are beset with similar illnesses as many reverts I’ve met are or frequently feel anxious, depressed or overwhelmed, there is no cure greater and lasting than what Islam provides.

Of course, many of these illnesses are deeply rooted, so to uproot them, you need deeper-rooted faith. I do not claim that simply accepting Islam will run these conditions away, ever, since it took even me several years after accepting Islam to reach the point where I was no longer dependent on medication–and that was not a specific goal of mine, it just happened that way that I recovered, alhamdulillah. Nevertheless, by developing your understanding of Islam, sincerely practicing it as you are commanded, and strengthening your tawheed can repel the worst of it without any doubt. Allah says what means,

{فَإِمَّا يَأْتِيَنَّكُم مِّنِّي هُدًى فَمَنِ اتَّبَعَ هُدَايَ فَلَا يَضِلُّ وَلَا يَشْقَىٰ} ﴿١٢٣﴾ سورة طه

“Then if there comes to you guidance from Me, then whoever follows My Guidance he shall neither go astray nor shall be in misery.” [20:123]

Allah also said what means,

{مَا عِندَكُمْ يَنفَدُ ۖ وَمَا عِندَ اللَّـهِ بَاقٍ ۗ وَلَنَجْزِيَنَّ الَّذِينَ صَبَرُوا أَجْرَهُم بِأَحْسَنِ مَا كَانُوا يَعْمَلُونَ ﴿٩٦﴾ مَنْ عَمِلَ صَالِحًا مِّن ذَكَرٍ أَوْ أُنثَىٰ وَهُوَ مُؤْمِنٌ فَلَنُحْيِيَنَّهُ حَيَاةً طَيِّبَةً ۖ وَلَنَجْزِيَنَّهُمْ أَجْرَهُم بِأَحْسَنِ مَا كَانُوا يَعْمَلُونَ ﴿٩٧﴾} سورة النحل

“Whatever is with you will be exhausted, and whatever is with Allah (of good deeds) will remain. And the perseverant We will certainly pay them a reward in proportion to the best of what they used to do. Whoever works righteousness – whether male or female – while being a true believer, verily, to him We will give a good life, and We shall pay them certainly a reward in proportion to the best of what they used to do (Paradise in the Hereafter).” [16:96-97]

The most important ingredients needed for repelling one’s troubling psychological maladies begin with a firm and clear foundation of belief. Second, consistency with the five daily prayers. These two ingredients alone spelled my personal success in overcoming depression, by Allah’s permission. But forcing myself to pray wasn’t enough. I strengthened my faith to the point that I wanted to pray, worship Allah, and enjoyed it.

However, I cannot prescribe this for you in place of medication as a doctor could, it is something you have to do independent of your medicinal regimen.^[2]My last doctor said I would remain free of symptoms as long as I got sufficient sleep. There have been some instances, especially when the nights became shorter during the summer, and I would realize … Continue reading You should also be steadfast in remembering your daily remembrances apart from the 5 daily prayers, those mentioned for the morning and evening in the Fortress of a Muslim, which are taken from the Prophet’s words.

Keep righteous company; recite and memorize much of the Qur’an. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said, “No slave^[3]The word ‘abd means slave or worshiper in Arabic. It is frequently used to refer to any member of Allah’s creation in relation to Allah. It is also used to refer to someone who has reached a … Continue reading was ever befallen by worry or distress or grief and then said, Oh Allah, I am Your slave, the son of your male and female slaves, my forelock is in your grasp, my past is in your judgment, [You are] Just in Your decrees, I ask You by every name that is Yours, that You named Yourself by, or revealed in Your Book, or taught to anyone of Your creation, or kept hidden in the unseen knowledge with You, that You make the Glorious Qur’an the spring of my heart, light of my chest, banisher of my sorrow and remover of my distress and sadness except that Allah dispelled their worry and distress and replaced it with happiness.”^[4]Recorded by Ahmad 5/267.

And notice here that the Prophet ﷺ did not simply say “read the Qur’an” but pointed us towards seeking Allah’s Help to read the Qur’an first, and Allah’s Help to benefit by it. So remember this lesson, just like the third verse of al-Faatiha, “You alone we worship, and You alone we seek help from” [1:3]. We cannot truly be guided nor even benefit from the guidance without Allah’s Help every step of the way. So ask Allah for the cure, and ask Allah for it to work.

A prayer for steadfastness

One habit you should never drop as a Muslim is the supplication most observed from our model, the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ. He used to say: yaa muqallibal-quloob, thabbit qalbee ‘alaa deenik (Oh turner of the hearts, fasten my heart upon Your deen).^[5]Extracted from a hadeeth, recorded by Tirmidhi, English reference vol. 4, book 6, no. 2140; Arabic book 32 no. 2290. Perform this supplication frequently, as you remember to do so or even during the prostrations of your prayers.

“The Fortress of a Muslim” is a famous book that can fit in anyone’s pocket. It is a collection of prophetic invocations to say at specific times and circumstances, so that every aspect of your life becomes accompanied with worship, gratitude and seeking Allah’s Help. This includes waking up, putting on clothes, beginning to eat and finishing a meal, when entering and leaving the home, prior to intercourse, when riding a vehicle, before sleeping, and several other activities, circumstances and life stages.