Stage 1: Welcoming

The first 12 – 48 hours after pronouncing the declaration of faith

Objective:           Guarantee bi’ithnillah that the new revert will return to the Muslim community for more tarbiyah.

Summary:           A faith-boosting memorable experience, fostering bonds of sisterhood/brotherhood. Learn necessary information about the new Muslim, teach essential lessons, and associate Islam and the Muslims with positive feelings.

In Detail:

A responsible, eager and empathetic member of the Muslim community should stay as close to the “shahaadah” as possible for however long it would take to guarantee that this person will stay a Muslim for at least a week so that they can begin more formal training. Depending on the circumstances, this individual, whom we’ll call the “welcomer” may even offer to spend the day or night with the new Muslim.

 

“Welcomer” should:

• Learn the individual’s background, briefly, and what about Islam attracted them, how much they know about Islam, and where they learned. Watch for red flags to make sure that the little information they know is in fact true! Also, discover any pertinent abnormalities that might require special care from future mentors, e.g. severe poverty, limited availability, lack of transportation, language preference (are they Latino?), etc. It is important to learn what drew them to Islam or what they were searching for in their life that brought them here. Some people are more into the “spiritual/metaphysical” aspects of religion or inner practice, whereas others are drawn because they feel Islam is the “true/authentic” religion. It is important not to mislead the person into thinking Islam is just as they initially visualize it, because they almost inevitably accepted Islam without a complete picture and with some incorrect assumptions, but show them that they’ll discover Islam to be the answer to whatever it is they’re seeking and the best in all areas they need help in.
  
• Procure contact information, phone number or e-mail address. “I’d like to send you some good links…” “Let me call or text you to let you know about community events or when we can meet again”. Don’t appear nosy, needy, or intrusive “Don’t worry I’m not interested in conducting a background check”. Likely, they will be suspicious about the Muslim community at first. Sure, they know most Muslims are terrorists or cultists, but it will take a long time before you can earn their trust. Don’t ask for any personal information without apparent need for it or without offering some of your own (you’re a friend and brother/sister, not a psychiatrist).
• Be generous, buy a meal, pay for their gas, or anything that would be valued by them. Offer them an appropriate book, prayer cap, khimaar, prayer rug, etc.—something nice, not just “cleaning out the closet”!! Whole tribes used to accept Islam when people would hear, “Muhammad is giving away money as if he doesn’t fear poverty!” Demonstration of “sacrifice” and preference is one of the greatest means of making someone cling to and admire you.
• Give personal contact information and that of necessary, experienced and helpful mentor(s). Consider yourself on call. “If you need anything, anything at all, call me, even at 2 a.m.”
• Provide recommended links, an Arabic-English glossary of common Islamic terms/expressions, and prayer guide.
• Inform concerned individuals of the Muslim community about the new Muslim, e.g. those responsible for teaching them and facilitating for them as needed.
• Offer to hang out with them as long as they are available and desire. For them, emotions may be extremely high, as they probably made the most important and consequential decision of their lives, and they need a person who will simply listen to them. Gauge whether their chatter is the kind they need to simply “get off their chest” and be heard (when it’s best for you just to shut-up, nod, and listen rather than offer solutions) OR if they’re just telling mundane stories about their lives that can be cut off for more important discussion.
• Invite them to the next community potluck or meal, or any other social event, along with recreational activities, like basketball. Discover their interests and find Muslims who share that with them.
• Introduce them to friendly conservative members of the Muslim community as they come in contact with them, mentioning interesting things about them, to foster bonds of brotherhood or sisterhood. “This is Nasir, if you ever need car repairs, this is the guy to go to, he’s lived here for fifteen years and won several awards for outstanding service in the metropolitan area.” Attach humanity to the Muslims they meet, and convey the message that they are now a part of a fraternity/sorority that helps each other out. “This is Amira she makes awesome baqlava and is a great friend who just came to the US three years ago.” Remember to smile.
• If the individual is under 18 years old, contact the parents or guardians, make sure they understand where their son or daughter is, and arrange for them, eventually, to sign a permission slip so that the child may participate in community functions, ride in the car with responsible members of the Muslim community if needed, etc. Avoid a lawsuit or scandal. If the child fears extreme disapproval from their parents, then the child should work out a plan with the welcomer and mentors to gradually inform the parents, and to keep a steady flow of information reaching the child to feed their spiritual needs. But at least one qualified guardian should be informed, e.g. an aunt, grandfather, etc. Suggestions include: bringing pamphlets home, openly hanging out with Muslim friends, displaying increased happiness in front of family, etc.
• Teach the following…
  • Islam is about Tawheed, and it is the religion of all Allah’s Messengers.
  • All new Muslims, without exception, experience a period of test and temptation as Allah wants to strengthen them for greater purposes. Tests could come from family, friends, former religious community, work, school, health or wealth, of hard tests and “good” tests (i.e. increase in provision so that one thinks they no longer need religion if their life is going peachy), even Islam itself, as they come across things that might not sit well with them.
  • Islam is submission to the will of the Creator, and by doing so, we will achieve inner peace and a goodly life. We experience these benefits proportionate to what we should be doing as Muslims. Islam is the way of life exhibited by the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ. Islam is not simply what Muslims do, which is usually full of baseless assumptions, superstitions, politics and culture. The point here is conveying to them, or even saying directly if comfortable, two things: you might experience ill treatment, or get misinformation from ethnic Muslims, and second, you need to learn Islam and cannot simply rely on your shahaadah and keeping a couple books in your library and never do anything else. Islam is a living faith. You have to live it, love it, and learn it to sustain faith. Tell them to avoid online forums. These are breeding grounds for ethnic Muslim trolls (or even Christian trolls in the guise of ethnic Muslims) that are jealous of the new Muslim, and want to prove to the white man, their superiority over them by putting them down. “Oh, you eat meat from Kroger’s and you call yourself a Muslim? You’re not ready for this” constantly raising the bar after the European colonists successfully instilled within them the opposite for a century.
  • How did the Christians go astray from Islam, a brief history (but fact based, if you don’t know it, don’t go there, they may know more about Christian history than you do, so do not erroneously claim the gospels were written in 325 or something as MANY Muslims think). The purpose of this is that once we have connected them to Islam, it is necessary to cut any connection to their former religion. Also, providing a brief sample of some of the miraculous and inimitable aspects of the Quran, whether scientific, historical preservation, etc. If they do not already know this, it conveys to them “you made the right choice.”
  • Being a good Muslim, especially in this stage, means learning steadily, but not too much at a time. Comfort them, in that they will not have to change their entire lives from the start, nor much, but eventually, when their faith grows, they themselves, may want to change more of their life. In other words, we’re not forcing them to do anything different, but they are taking those steps on their own. The most important thing a Muslim does as an individual and as a community is prayer. So explain the 2-sided summary of bodily purification and prayer, which I recommend printing it on one single paper and laminating it.
  • Begin explaining the movements of the prayer, in brief, and summarize the words of the prayer emphasizing the spiritual implications and benefits that Muslims gain out of praying and following the command of Allah in general and even abstaining from what Allah prohibited in general—all this contributes to purifying the heart. It is a great mistake from teachers to separate heart purification from morality from general fiqh. Why did the Prophet ﷺ say the halaal is clear and the haraam is clear and then present an intriguing metaphor before talking about the organ that determines the body’s uprightness or wickedness!?

As for those that have researched Islam and other religions a lot and have learned much about Islam and already have strong ties with the Muslim community, then not all of this may be necessary, since they have weighed the issues and are certain of their decision. Yet still, because the sources they first learned from may not have been the best (especially if it’s a husband or even … *gasp*… Muslim girlfriend), it is still important to inquire and treat them like others. Also, there may be little need for these steps for those who already have Muslim family members or spouses. However, this presents another challenge: dispelling the idea that Islam is what Muslims do, i.e. cultural. The objective of this stage is staying with the new brother/sister until one feels confident that when they let go of them, they will come back for more—more brotherhood and more learning—and contact the Muslims should the need arise. If this objective is already accomplished, then see step two on the next page, personal mentorship.